What will become of me?

An age old question for everyone out there.

Yesterday, at x-ray, an elderly woman came into the lab. She was distraught, she knew she had an appointment, but didn't bring her referral from her doctor. The massive paperwork involved with today's insurance boggles the greatest of minds, I can only imagine what dilemma's and confusion happens when a person's mind is slipping with age. Her husband came in and took over trying to help. The people behind the counter were unempathetic and sarcastic. The woman tried to fight the battle on her own, but couldn't do it alone. Her husband, who seemed a bit more coherent, took her hand and kissed her on the cheek, and said, he would help straighten it out.

He battled the women behind the counter with matching wit and sarcasm. The woman was in tears and begged her husband for them to just leave, she couldn't deal. I remember the husband mentioning his birthyear was 1930 something, so you can gather their ages. The people behind the counter ask him for proof of his relationship to the woman and him being her husband. Well you might as well have unleashed a hundred rabid rotweilers.

The situation was sad, very disturbing. How the medical facility treated the situation, but nothing I haven't seen before. Maybe that's the sad realization. But oddly enough, there was something so endearing, so precious about what the couple did for each other. The husband grew withered from fighting and had to sit down, the wife dug in her purse for her husband's medication and a snack bar as he complained he was dizzy.

They kept softly telling each other that they were going to be OK, that they were going to get through this together.

Did the medical facility ever see her? No. Eventually they both walked out, but arm in arm together. Holding each other up.

Tears fell on my book and I lost my place when the words went blurred through my eyes, revisiting the reality of my life. Knowing I will not make it to that age. That I will not have what they have. Is it so much to ask, for a companion to love, honor, and cherish and to hold each other up until the body gives out? To not fight the battles of ugliness and evil in this world completely on your own until you crack, long before you time? In this day, yes it is. I am very saddened by this.

Burdened by the loss of this dream, I struggle to make the best of things with the little time I have on this earth. I know that I am not particularly molded to most people's liking, or expectations, it doesn't bother me that much - but sometimes I really do wish my split apart was able to be here with me - though I am thankful for what God has allowed me to see and experience. I try not to let the greed of this desire engulf me. But at times like this. It's hard.

Here's a prayer for God:

Please forgive me for my sins,

bless everyone,

and please help those out there who are selfish, stubborn, stupid, and scared - help them to get a grip on themselves, and do what they feel and know is right in their hearts - and open their arms and their hearts to their split aparts and hold each other up - just like the couple in the x-ray lab. This kind of love seems to be diminishing in this world and sorely needs to be saved, rekindled and multiplied.